I asked my mum this evening if she could help me come up with a good idea for my college assignment; writing a child's story.
Fair to say I don't really 'do' children (No matter how you decide to interpret that, I still do not!)
Mum usually tells me I was born at the age of 76, as I never wanted to watch CBeebies or play out. When I was 4, she came into my room on Christmas night, dead on midnight, dressed as Santa Claus. Me, at the age of 4, told her to stop being immature and to grow up...
Back to her story idea. Yeah. I won't be using it. She suggested the image of an adopted child having a bath in bleach, and the foster parent being either twisted or very clever...
Twisted since it would burn, and probably kill, the child...
...Clever as it would clean the child and the bath.
Tuesday 14 June 2011
Sunday 12 June 2011
All The Little Things...
You know the feeling. You're eating your dinner (hopefully in a civilized manner, i.e. cutlery rather than cut-throat) and then your fork scrapes, for the tiniest fraction of a second, against your teeth. A sharp pain shoots through your entire body and causes what I can only describe as 'discomfort'.
Another example would be the washing up. Your washing away at whatever (Don't lower the tone, we're talking kitchen, not bathroom... Or wherever else you would wash, maybe Blackpool sea if you're feeling adventurous and a little bit drunk/mental/retarded.) when suddenly your nail catches a stainless steel implement. The sudden pain runs through your bones once more, causing you to fall to the floor, dead. *Note the use of hyperbole.
My final example would be the most random thing ever. You can come into contact with these mundane things every day of the year. Be in your radiator, front door, Nan, whatever. Every now and then this common household item/person will attack you, rather like a Pokemon, with a sudden jolt of electricity. This feeling is universal, be you young or old, male or female, English or Chinese (If you are Chinese, WELCOME!)
What I am pointing out is you are going to get hurt. Every single day. By anything.
Relationship troubles are the same as a fork on teeth, a little sudden pain for something that is necessary.
A job is the same as the dishes, you don't want to do it, nobody does, but you have to.
And the electrical discharge from inanimate objects? (Nan, I'm sorry and I love you but really, you can't walk...) Just think of it as a sign, telling you to trudge on, and defeat the pain.
Another example would be the washing up. Your washing away at whatever (Don't lower the tone, we're talking kitchen, not bathroom... Or wherever else you would wash, maybe Blackpool sea if you're feeling adventurous and a little bit drunk/mental/retarded.) when suddenly your nail catches a stainless steel implement. The sudden pain runs through your bones once more, causing you to fall to the floor, dead. *Note the use of hyperbole.
My final example would be the most random thing ever. You can come into contact with these mundane things every day of the year. Be in your radiator, front door, Nan, whatever. Every now and then this common household item/person will attack you, rather like a Pokemon, with a sudden jolt of electricity. This feeling is universal, be you young or old, male or female, English or Chinese (If you are Chinese, WELCOME!)
What I am pointing out is you are going to get hurt. Every single day. By anything.
Relationship troubles are the same as a fork on teeth, a little sudden pain for something that is necessary.
A job is the same as the dishes, you don't want to do it, nobody does, but you have to.
And the electrical discharge from inanimate objects? (Nan, I'm sorry and I love you but really, you can't walk...) Just think of it as a sign, telling you to trudge on, and defeat the pain.
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